OMG! I did good!!

I did good!! OMG!

This was an examination where I was fully prepared to get an 'F'. I almost jumped from my seat and hugged the person who announced the result. OMG! I did good!!

Let me say why I was expecting an 'F'.

Mother was hospitalized for sometime (Link). Mobility is an issue for her and she is mostly on wheel-chair, does not want to wait for knee transplantation till my winter vacation. Had to say 'No' to a very important responsibility for which the nation looks towards IIT with bated breath, as it needs lots of traveling and I need to give time to mother. Felt honoured that I was considered capable enough for that very, very challenging job.

The knee operation is planned at Fortis, Kolkata. Discussion is on with the doctor. Hospital stay could be for two weeks. Post operation physiotherapy for six weeks, is critical. Mother is prepared that I might not be available everyday by her side during hospital stay. But, I don't like that, feel stressed - how I would be able to manage both professional and family commitments, I do not yet know.

I personally was having one symptom. This apparently indicated one parameter not doing good and would require prolonged medication. Test was suggested. Otherwise too, annual check-up was due. Last year some of the parameters were on the border line. We have a family history of high blood pressure. I fare 140/90 for long which again is considered borderline.

One set of blood test was conducted on TUE (empty stomach) and the other was done on THU (post breakfast). It was not possible on WED due to morning class.

I was to take test reports, meet doctor, get blood pressure checked on THU evening and perhaps to get started with medicine which was not required so far for me.

Then came the THU afternoon / evening. Received something which was not expected at all. More than what was delivered, the way it was delivered was very disturbing. Felt bad for the team I serve and feel proud of, that comprises of young, enthusiastic, hard working people, devoted to the cause.

Defended to the extent possible. Felt grateful for the support received across the vertical. Even then had a sleepless THU night, may be for not facing a situation like that in my earlier association here, may be because of the quality of company I enjoyed till now or may be for getting used to certain kind of approach (Link to one post, Link to one youtube video). Thanks again for the support received from across the hierarchy.

And yes, missed the doctor's appointment and could not collect the test report because of this unfortunate matter. Family members were so anxious to see me that much agitated when I returned home at 9 PM, they forgot to scold me that I had missed the doctor's appointment, neither I could collect the blood test report.

Comes Friday. There was a 10:30-12:30 double lecture and 1:30-4:30 lab. I thought that I wouldn't be able to survive beyond one lecture hour and would compensate one class later. But, chalk-duster-blackboard and hundred students before you, you are a transformed self. We couldn't feel how two hours passed.

Phone call from outstation close relative came at 5 PM. There was a string of advice, that I must not miss the doctor's appointment that evening. Also, I was advised to be regular and sincere on taking medicines that doctor prescribes.

The writing on the wall was clear. I too almost gave up!

Entered doctor's chamber at 7 PM. He checked reports. The borderline cases or the shooting beyond the range for two parameters do not need medication but rationing of some food items.

Then came the final test, measurement of blood pressure. Like a student who knows that he is going to fail for activities in the run up of the examination, and prefers to surrender before the examiner expecting the unexpected, I told timidly as the doctor put the blood pressure cuff around my arm, "I am little disturbed. Had some fight. I don't expect to do well."

The measurement was done. Doctor looked at me while unwrapping the blood pressure cuff. I knew the result, that it would be an 'F'. Still I asked, "How much?"

Sharp came the answer, "140 / 90."

OMG! OMG! I did goood!!

One person felt disappointed though :-) because I didn't join her club. She takes medicine regularly for the love of it and wondered how I got spared this time too!

Endnote: That I passed the test made me qualified enough to honour the guest list of printed invitation cards, where local community just outside IIT Kharagpur campus were organizing a blood donation camp this morning! And when asked, made a short speech too on voluntary blood donation movement and its significance in our healthcare.

Cholesterol

- "Did anything happen in the institute? Tell me the truth."
- "No. Nothing."
- "Why then these series of blood tests? Ultrasonography?"
- "These are routine check-up. Closing on 44 years. Prevention is better than cure."
- "Since when did you start taking care of yourself? How come you became such a good boy! Tell us what are the discomforts."
- "Nothing. I assure you."
- "This evening while talking to your office colleague, what were you discussing in low voice? Did you faint in office? Today or tomorrow, I shall get to know. Why don't you tell now?"
- "Please try. No such things."

And then the news got spread through her highness. Sister, in-laws started inquiring. Also students on seeing the leucoplast on arm. Suddenly, I find that a lot of answering is to be done. An honest and innocuous attempt to live healthier is raising eyebrows! But getting attention even if for a 'healthy' reason like this :-) where concerns are showered on you, suddenly makes you feel that you are not just playing a character role in the drama of life! And my sister and brother-in-law were most severe on me, I suspect that prompted by her highness, criticizing and telling me what I should do and what I should not.

Do I deserve this much of criticism, trial by family and well-wishers? Did I miss morning work out (morning walk plus free hand exercise) for a single day in last two months? One/two day(s) miss does not count. As is said, "Bhawanako Samjho (Appreciate the spirit)"! What can you do if you have an early morning flight to catch or have a 7:30 AM class? Shouldn't want notice the 3KG weight reduction in last 2-3 months and not the 100+ KG absolute weight, the sacrifice made (sweets and other delicacies - more so when you have arguably the best chef of the campus at home)?

The same can be said about office work. Returning home at 10 PM from office should not be overshadowed by the more regular 8:00-8:30 PM schedule! As such being in Kharagpur, being at IIT Kharagpur is always being at home for one who spent his childhood, youth in the town or in the campus. And the reasons for which one has to stay till 10 PM needs greater attention than the 10 PM itself! Let us take yesterday evening as an example. One research student's rehearsal of synopsis seminar started at 6 PM and went up to 7:45 PM (discussion on various points raised by group members). Then had discussions with four young IITKGP students (just completed 2nd year) who were invited in the seminar. These young students are braving summer heat, staying away from home in vacation to work with us as intern and one cannot but be overwhelmed by their dedication and salute their spirit. Once I finished discussion with them at 8:30 PM, I decided to use the late evening serenity to my advantage to type down a detailed thesis examination report which was overdue. Then took its print on letter head, signed and scanned the same, finally mailed it to the registrar of the concerned university. I was supposed to send it last Friday and requested few extra days. Thereby, the guilt feeling of being late is gone and I had a good night sleep. Wasn't that a healthier proposition than sticking to a 8:30 PM deadline?

Let me defend the other criticism faced. This is 'stress'. Here is somebody who worry about big big things where nobody takes him seriously; and he doesn't worry at all about things where he can be taken seriously (of course, at mercy of the greats :-)). Isn't it a perfect recipe for remaining stress-free? Also, it is said that the things one does out of love, passion do not stress. Who can say that I am not enjoying what I am doing? I have seen guidance which tells people to be able to say, "No" to remain stress-free. I think that the coordinator of one of the lead funding agency was in 'shock and awe' when I flatly said 'No' to review requests dumped on me (about 5-6 proposals) without my consent. He was asking why I am late for an assignment that I did not accept at all. I politely said that I had several pending thesis examination work which I accepted and they are of higher priority. Came the reply on expected line, "What will happen to your proposal if the reviewer says 'No' or delays the review?" I don't know if I got de-stressed to say that I wouldn't be applying to them for fund to increase their trouble. I don't know if I should have told them if the reviewer deserves to know what happens to the fate of projects reviewed by them, how much weight the review carries, or if it is the final seminar presentation or any other stuff that are the decider. Perhaps that would have increased the stress level somewhere. Didn't I do good to myself and the society to keep the cumulative stress down? Who will appreciate this?

Whether you apply or not, your application is considered favourably or not, it feels good to be one of the two persons in "To:" list of a mail where application is requested for a faculty position in a lead European University. That somebody notices you at some other part of the world is itself a big 'feel-good' factor. However, aging mother (72+ years) who stays with us in campus quarter and other factor do not allow me to go out even for a semester. My thanks to that university and to my students (basking in their glory, reflected on me) -  the confidence it gives definitely works to the advantage of one, health included.

Next, don't I act swiftly and decisively when it matters the most (to establish that I am at the peak of health) - to confront termite or ant colony and last but not least the snakes? The ordeal needs taking help of maintenance and security staff or flexing rod and muscles to solve the matter then and there. I belong to that hall of fame who killed a snake in bed room single-handedly (Again "Bhawnako Samjho" - used both the hands but no other help except family members), a rare feat in the campus. Recently drove a big snake away from our garden and kept working on the holes for days (each time it was resurfacing). Finally the combination of bleaching powder and stamping of ground (heard that they are deaf but sensitive to vibration) after each day's work out made that big snake give up. To take the ant colony out of quarter, I am following a policy where I am doing spraying activity on one side and keeping the other side (towards the periphery) free. The ants appear to be intelligent enough to understand in which direction I am asking them to go.We never used 'ant colony optimization' algorithm to score a point anywhere in our research - thus, no pricking of conscience!

What else? How to prove that I am doing my best and doing enough? Kashmir, Vizag, Darjeeling in summer 2011, winter 2011, summer 2012 - isn't that great? It is the quality that matters. One should not worry if 4N, 5D could have been extended or Peling, Gangtok could have been included in the itinerary. One has to keep something available for the next vacation!

I think that I have proven my point. Bad cholesterol at border line high is much better than having urea, creatinine crossing the limit, if we know what makes it sweet and sudden. Maintaining blood pressure at 140/90 for about a decade now without medication is no mean feat! More so if you have history of high B.P. in your family! Today evening there is ultrasonography test. I am sure that I shall prove my critics wrong on this count too and it is no surprise that the critics will be the happiest to hear that. Till then enjoy the pics taken during morning walk outs in our beautiful campus and our new quarter (often accompanied by my daughter who inspires, participates - in fact, I had to invent one work out, 'madness at large' which she finds hilarious - don't ask for demo., please!!!). The place behind garage in the last picture is the arena.

Caution

"When did you last check your blood pressure?", asked the physician.
"Two years back." I replied.
"How much was the reading? What were you advised?"
"It was on the higher side 130/90 and I was advised to take morning walk, trim weight." I said sheepishly.
- "Did you follow the advice?"
- "No......err...I don't get time..."
- "It is 140/100 now. You are advised to follow those advices seriously and report to me after one month."
I said that I would. I believe I said that 2 years back too.
- "You are all achievers. You have achieved many things and will achieve more. You know how to achieve. If you want you can take care of your health too." The physician's voice stood firm.

The fact that my father died at the age of 56 due to kidney failure which had its origin in high blood pressure and my elder sister now is surviving on one transplanted kidney (done at the age of 34) do not make the situation look better.

So I should better be cautious. If not for myself, but for the family - the daughter who is only six years old. (Yesterday was her birthday. It was 7:15 pm. I was still in the office. The telephone rang. An appeal from a kid who is waiting for her father to return from office so that she can cut the birthday cake in a small get-together!)

Is that possible?

In replying to an additional load being given to me by Head of a prestigious lab here at IITkgp I was looking at my activity schedule for next one month

Nov. 18-21, TENC.., Hyderabad,
Nov 26 onwards : NSS Camp, ( http://teamvivek.50webs.com/index.html )
Dec. 05 onwards : Hosting foreign collaborator and working together, arranging training for students
Dec. 10-14 : India Tele... 2008, New Delhi
Sometime in Dec. (not announced yet) : NR... meeting, 2 days, Delhi
Book Manuscript deadline : Dec. for one part, ...
PhD thesis chapter review : Thesis submission Jan. 15, Only one ch. done so far
PhD thesis work validation : Thesis writing to commence after that
Project deliverable deadline : Dec 2008
Socials : Marriage functions - five (four in Kolkata, one here in KGP - three are ex-students and close confide, two from family. One is my 1st PhD student. It will be difficult to say NO, in fact to everyone in varying degree.) First Rice Ceremony - two (one family, one ex-students couple : both in Kolkata) Birthday Party for my own daughter in one of the next two weekends.

The above is besides end-sem, other regular activities like different committee meetings, paper review (2 papers before Nov. 15 NCC 2009), paper submission, purging of students for various reasons etc. and last but not the least family responsibilities. There is no space even in weekends, evenings ... For days I had 4-5 hours sleep to meet deadlines.

And the period Dec. 08 to Dec. 31 is supposed to be our vacation.

Is it madness?

People in the work place who are giving me jobs are not ready accept a 'No' for themselves, cites how much work they are doing on their own etc..
It gives me lot of stress to say 'No' to somebody. I believe that it is less stressful to do the work than to say 'No'. That way the work piles up.
Family members say that I am overdoing things and they are OK if I cut down things and that affects my career. They haven't any complain about my non-academic interest. Probably that helps in de-stressing.

Prof. Sw...., my neighbour says that I am too serious and sincere about every job given to me. That causes strains. (I was told right from my childhood - Remember, whatever you do is important.)
Prof. PK.... asks me to cut down jobs and take care.
Prof. PPKan..., my PhD supervisor, mentor for years warned me of health a number of times, asked to practise Yoga for which I didn't have any time.
Family members are always worried.

I wonder how. How can I finish my job within 9 am - 6 pm slot and inculcate healthy habits? The meeting itself often starts at 5:30 pm like the one to be held today at VG... for final drafting of curri.... of a new school being established at IITkgp. Telecon. with US firm interested in our research starts at 10 pm and continues up to 11 pm. And there are need to travel (present our work for IIT, get fund for projects etc.) and meet different deadlines.

Last night went to bed at 11 pm. Today woke up at 5:30 am. Had driving lesson from 6 am till 7 am. Dropped daughter at school at 7:30 am. Went for 45 minute morning walk at 8:00 am. Started office work at 9:00 am by replying to a PhD scholar's query, one hour lecture class etc. It is lunch time now. Shall pick up daughter from school on way back home for lunch.
A good beginning indeed!

Endnote : While learning driving there wasn't much of a confusion for the leftmost foot pedal i.e. 'Clutch' as it was dedicated to the left foot. The right foot has to take care of other two pedals 'Brake' and 'Acceleration'. I must say that often I pressed 'Acceleration' when I was supposed to press 'Brake' :-)

Rejoinder (1) : Returning from lunch, within a hour of this posting, I find two messages worrying about my health. One from Hyderabad, my ex-student, the other from a IIT Guwahati faculty, my friend. Also a research scholar from Maharashtra rang few minutes back to discuss some technical matter. He finished saying that he likes my blog specially the posts on Vivekananda. Thanks everybody. Don't worry. I'll take care of myself. Above 40, everybody develops one health problem or the other. Nothing special. Compared to many, I am more fit. But there is no room for complacency. I'll be careful. Thanks once again.
(2) : The meeting started one hour early at 4:30 pm and continued till 7:30 pm. Another meeting is required on Friday 11:30 am after a 8:30-10:30 double lecture and 10:30 to 11:30 another meeting. The MT.. student whose presentation was scheduled at 4:30 pm may not be happy, I feel bad about it. It is rescheduled on Friday afternoon. Leaving office for home now at 7:45 pm. Need to improve!
(3) : Another social invitation in Dec. has just arrived! The moment of truth for one of my colleague. The function will be held in Kolkata.